Vote for the Crappiest Friend Ever

Wow. You guys are brutal. Like borderline pathologically brutal, aka, one millionth as brutal as Kane & Lynch. Read the top three reader-submitted tales of friend-betrayal, then vote for the one that is the most cringe-worthy. The winner gets a copy of Kane & Lynch 2(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); https://kotaku.com/are-you-as-bad-as-kane-lynch-5608392 Entry 1, from Daniel M.: Three years ago I pressured my friend Derek into playing World of Warcraft with me, which proved the ultimate betrayal, as I knew beforehand that he had an addictive personality. After I quit two years ago he just kept going. He’s kept an active account consistently for that span of time and lost his job due to the frequency with which he looked up WoW information. He is currently unemployed in real life yet gainfully employed in World of Warcraft, in which he is an rummy golds engineer, alchemist, leatherworker, blacksmith, et cet. He speaks with an almost religious fervor about the upcoming expansion and I see no hope for his recovery save an intervention, which I won’t have for him, at least until after a rummy mars copy of Kane & Lynch 2 has been awarded for my betrayal. Entry 2, from Michael M.: first off my writing skills in English are meh at best well what i have done I’m not proud of, its the worst thing i have done in my life basically in 2008 me and my best friend’s girlfriend hooked-up one night and put a 3000$ balance on my friend’s credit card Friday June 13th 2008 my best friend Justin left for a business conference in Toronto he was gone for the for the weekend and part of the week. my girlfriend had just broken up with me 3 weeks before . you can see how well this is going. so me and my friends girlfriend (Lidia) decided to go to this nightclub called Ivy (so she can help me hook up, she was my wing-women) so i struck out all night my game wasn’t on. so at one point we decided to got to a bar we drank together had some shots blah ba blah after and hour or so we started making out and that’s what i pretty much remember except for a few other moments which i wont mention. so the next morning we woke up in a hotel and realized what we had done and swore to not speak of it ever again, but one little thing was gonna be hard to explain to Justin how there was a balance of around 3000$ on his credit card. now to understand why we had his credit card is because my friend always leaves his master card to his girlfriend for emergency’s when he leaves for business trips so what we did is when we came back to their place we broke the front window trashed the place so it looked like it got invaded then called the cops for theft and gave a false description of a guy and what he took nad other information. then a week later got arrested. thank got the guy got priors in drug possession and armed robbery so basically everything worked out fine. and the f**** up thing is Justin and me are still best friends he never found out and infarct he’s get married in next spring and I’m gonna be his best man I’m taking this story to the grave, unless he’s on his death bed then i will tell him the story Entry 3, from Justin B.: After you read this story, you’ll be shocked to learn that I still have any friends left. Many years ago I had a friend (note the past tense there) who, for whatever reason, I decided to pull a rather mean prank on. See said friend still lived with his parents. His parents mind you were super conservative and super paranoid. So one day I decided to use this knowledge to my advantage. On my way to my friends house I stopped by a book store and picked up a couple of, let’s say, “alternative lifestyle” magazines. We hang out in his room for a bit, and then when he went to the bathroom I decided to make my move. I reached in my backpack, grabbed the magazines, and threw them under his mattress. We then headed out for a bit to pick up his girlfriend and head to the mall. As he revved up the car I mentioned I forgot my backpack (on purpose of course), so I ran back in and grabbed it. On the rummy master way out I made sure to drop an empty baggie on the ground outside his room. Sure enough his parents find it and decide to tear about his room. Flash forward to later. My friend dropped me off at my house and him and his girl go back to his place. I was not there to see what went down, but as I heard later his parents were on him the second he walked in. They were so mad that they promptly threw away all his game consoles and games in the alleyway trash. That was after his gf dumped him for “lying to him all that time.” Now I could have done the right thing and told them that it was all my doing. But after a late night visit to his alleyway and a next day phone call to his now ex-girlfriend (only to comfort her of course wink wink nudge nudge), I came to the only logical conclusion that it was far more profitable to me to keep my mouth shut. Am I a dick? Yes. Did I feel guilty? Of course. But I wiped away my tears on his instruction manuals and found comfort in the arms of his ex. Which is surprisingly the best solution to guilt I’ve ever discovered. Ok, it’s up to you to choose the most egregious friend betrayer to win a copy of Kane & Lynch 2. Vote below! (Voting closes tomorrow, August 19, at noon EST.)

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